The start of a new year is a big deal to me, but this year seems bigger than usual. Last week I decided I needed to start 2012 with freshly cleaned closets and cupboards, with all the Christmas decorations (including the tree) put away, and a level of organization that will probably be hard to keep up even until the end of January.
But I also decided that instead of resolutions, I’m just going to make a list. A big gigantic to-do list of things that I need to do for myself. Whether it’s goals, aspirations, or just scheduling a gosh darn dentist appointment already, this year is about me.
I’ve done the Year of the Mom, a Be a Better Spouse Challenge, and Be a Better Parent challenge too. I’ve had a fitness blog for parents to track my own post partum weight loss twice. It’s also a thriving Twitter community.
But this year I’m going to just take care of me, something that I’ve been a bit lax about over the years. Caring for four kids (including a newborn last year), working full-time from home, homeschooling my children, and acting as sole parent for much of the time takes its toll.
And suddenly everyone is taken care of — bathed, fed, taught, driven, loved — except me.
I don’t expect to fall anywhere near first on my list because I’ve still got little children. But I do want to fall above other things that have somehow taken a priority over my own needs. Things that do not need to be as important as they are.
I’m hoping to learn that certain things can wait. And others shouldn’t have to. It’s a simple reprioritization but one that will be challenging when you’ve spent nearly eight years doing the complete opposite. When I’m traveling for work or at a conference, I’m the self that I really should be every day. But that’s because I don’t have life and kids around. It’s easy to take 40 minutes to do my make-up and hair, and then take another 30 minutes to enjoy coffee and breakfast while I lazily check email.
But at home I eat last. I shower last. I do my hair maybe once a week. I rarely wear make-up. I live in gym clothes because the time it would take to change from regular clothes to work out clothes and back again is too much.
And while I’ve gotten better, allowing myself time for hair appointments, gym visits, and a girl’s night here and there, I still need work. I need to find a healthy in between.
So this year I’m refocusing. Small things, like dentist appointments, buying new underwear, and forcing myself to do my hair and make-up a few times a week. Or bigger things, like seeking some much-needed mental health support and losing the 10lbs that crept up on me after I weaned.
I’m convinced that by taking care of myself better, I’ll be a better mom (and example) to my kids. And I’m pretty sure that’s the best gift I can give them going into 2012.
Do you make resolutions or goals for the new year? Share! And happy new year!
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I actually decided to do the same thing. I’m calling 2012 my selfish year!
I love that you are making 2012 the year of YOU! I know it is really hard when your kids are still so little, but you can do it. You are setting a great example for your readers AND for your kids.
I’ve chosen a theme. I am ready to release that which no longer serves me to make room to receive that which does.
As soon as I declared it in the fall, the start of the Vedic calendar, the Autumn equinox, when my Yoga teacher recommended it, the Universe started assisting me in all sorts of ways.
A purge of my home, a psychic purge of my past secrets and burdens, a purge of my relationships that are no longer working for me, a purge of my work and it just keeps on giving. I believe the at the end of my 2012 my life will not resemble the life I have now and I will feel freer and happier and it will serve me a million times better. And so it is.
This makes me so happy to read. You are at the top of my list of “I don’t know how she does it” moms, and you do everything so, so well. You deserve to reap some more of the rewards.
Happy year of you!
Oh, and I have one resolution, and that is putting aside my fear (of starvation and disappointing/upsetting people) to redesign my life and my work so it makes me a happier, more productive, creativeperson. I feel big, long overdue changes coming. I’m equally excited and terrified.
If you can, you should also consider a spa day every month or every three months (maybe a massage every month? then a full blown spa day every 3?). People I know who get massages every month seem to be so much more relaxed. My daughter gave me a gift card to a day spa and I can’t wait to go. I still need to make an appointment, but I wanted to ring in the new year first. I’m thinking it is something I can start doing for myself here and there if I like the place and the people.
I love this idea in theory and am right there with you. I also had a newborn last year, Homeschool my children and have a husband who travels for work so I do the majority of the childcare however I am having trouble figuring out how to work in any time to focus on me without letting other things fall by the wayside like laundry or a somewhat clean house. I would love to brainstorm strategies for success or hear how you fit it all in.
I don’t make resolutions but I do have a goal to finish 1 WIP story every month this year. I have way too many unfinished fics sitting on my hard drive. I’m also aiming for writing 200k words of fiction this year.
I also plan to lose about 60lbs (at least). I lost around 30-35lbs this summer but have gained like 10-15 of that back because of emotional stuff. Which is another goal for the year–continue with therapy and be a happier person in 2012 (good-bye stifling depression).
Hopefully getting the emotional stuff sorted out will help everything else. Once I’m feeling better I’m sure I’ll be able to keep up with the house, losing weight (including walking every day it isn’t raining), writing every day and dealing with the kids.
Love the article! You absolutely need to take care of yourself along with your children, your “me” time will make you a better you for all those who are lucky enough to share your life. Enjoyed reading this.
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